#LifeGoals

I don’t want to live in a world without pizza and pasta. There, I said it. That may sound crazy coming from the woman who just lost 100+ pounds, but it’s true.

I have no intention of forgoing those foods for the rest of my life. We WILL be reunited someday. (I can’t stop singing “Reunited” by Peaches & Herb at this point – talk about dating yourself)

When I began this journey, I may not have known what my end point was going to be, but I knew what I wanted it to look like.

That is, one of the things that I have envied most was other people’s ability to indulge and then rein it in. For instance, my Father and Stepmother used to go to Italy every year for about 4-6 weeks. They were both incredibly disciplined about what they ate normally, but went on vacation and ate whatever they wanted, whenever they wanted it. Pizza, pasta, cheeses, breads, wines – you name it.

But then as soon as they got home, it was back to business as usual – a disciplined approach to food and moderation…and in a very short period of time, they had undone any damage vacation had wreaked on the scale.

What? That concept was so foreign to me. My food life consisted of such extremes – complete indulgence vs complete denial – that the word moderation wasn’t even in my vocabulary.

If I indulged at breakfast, my feeling was that the day was already shot, so I might as well keep it going. And as we all know…if you’re gonna go, GO BIG!

Well, that explains the starting weight of 287.2, no? My diet was always going to start on Monday, so I lived it up right before then. The problem was that Monday came and went, and indulgence continued – unabated.

Life was an endless cycle of extremes – and it was exhausting, both mentally and physically. So, when I made the decision to embark on this journey, I had to really think about what it was I wanted.

Well, the easy wants were these: I wanted to lose weight, I wanted to get healthy, I wanted to feel better. The harder wants were things like: I wanted to gain control of my addiction. I wanted to stop slowly killing myself with food. But I also wanted to ENJOY my life. At that point in time, I didn’t see how all of those things went together. How would I, or even COULD I, possibly enjoy life without food?

So, I thought long and hard about what I wanted out of life and the things that I enjoy.

Well, my favorite thing in the world to do is travel. And part of traveling is to immerse yourself in the culture of another country. Part of that culture is food.

When I think about the best meal of my life, it was in Cuenca, Ecuador. It was a 6-course meal that we allowed the chef to select and prepare as he saw fit. It. Was. INCREDIBLE. And I wouldn’t have that amazing memory if I hadn’t indulged.

But that’s what I want. I want to be able to experience all a country and its culture have to offer. So that’s what I have been working toward – not only losing weight and getting healthy but working on how I react and respond to food.

My goal is to get on a plane just as soon as this pandemic is over. And my goal is to enjoy my experience and immerse myself. And if that means carbs or off plan foods, that’s what it means.

The biggest difference between the old me and the new me? I have 100% confidence that when I return from whatever far off land I choose, I have the skills and ability to rein it back in and undo the damage done to my waistline. THAT is what this program has done for me. It’s given me my life back, and it’s given me things to look forward to.

I have to admit, control and confidence are a pretty empowering feeling.